I love the high, faux-literary tone of this spam message I received today. Its content is essentially the same as many Nigerian wire fraud scams … but the language is awfully high-flown. Where do they come up with this stuff?

From: Lady Catherine Levett,
4 Old Church Street, Chelsea, SW3, England.

Here writes Lady Catherine Levett , suffering from cancerous ailment.
Iam married to Engineer Neil Levett an Englishman who is dead.
My husband was into private practice all his life before his death. Our life
together as man and wife lasted for three decades without child. My
husband died after a protracted illness.

My husband and I made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the
less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not
help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament. I can
adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from this relationship,
which never came. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 950,000. GBP
(Nine Hundred and Fifty thousand Great Britain Pounds Sterling) which were derived
from his vast estates and investment in capital market with his bank in Malaysia.
Presently, this money is still with the Bank. Recently, my
Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous
problems I am suffering from.

Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to
the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen my
family, and me I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you
to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund the
upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically
challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be
genuinely handicapped financially.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of my
lawyer and the bank in Malaysia. I will also issue you a Letter of Authority
that will empower you as the original beneficiary of this fund. My
happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be
prayerful all through your life. Please assure me that you will act
just as I have stated herein. Hope to hear from you soon and God bless you and
members of your family. you can contact me through my private email
address: levett_ladycatherine@yahoo.co.uk

Lady Catherine Levett